crap, I don't know if I can make this clean enough to post.
I don't know if anyone could.
self-censorship blows.
OK, here I go...
So I was standing on what appeared to be a television studio set. It was just me and the two actors (?) in the scene (?).
I was probably about ten feet away from them and they couldn't see me watching.
To tell you the truth, I am not even sure they knew that they were acting in a scene--I don't think they did.
While I was clearly in the room with them, there was a sort of separation like I was looking through glass or something (but I wasn't).
The room was set up with a big, low platform bed and not much else. The man and woman were (I just puked a little) lying next to each other in the spot light.
(it gets so bad)
He was probably naked and half under a blanket and she was wearing a bikini. Really, it looked like half ruffly lingerie half swim suit. You know the little tutus that the hippos wear in fantasia? It was sort of like that. It was all flowery and ruffled and f*ing horrible because this was not an attractive woman. Big and dirty are the best descriptors I can think of right now. The man wasn't particularly attractive either. I don't want to go into great detail...
god this gets twisted.
I really shouldn't post this.
.screw it.
So the big icky man is lying behind the big icky woman and he keeps reaching over her to get food off of a plate (also on the platform bed-I should stop right now).
Every time he reaches across her I notice that my own...um...christ...
OKOKOK
I know that there is some sexual penetration going on because I can feel it.
jesus christ
I am still watching the event and I am not participating in any way except I can feel everything that this woman feels. really bloody weird and not particularly pleasant.
So this goes on for a while and the woman (thankfully) tires of the activity which I have somehow been experiencing as my own.
So the guy decides to make this giant sandwich. It is the most elaborate creation ever- it's on one of those round loaf-y roll things the size of a medium sized cat. He put every topping ever on this giant sandwich; lettuce, meat, cheese, onions and really thinly sliced tomatoes, among other things.
What does this creation of my troubled brain do with the sandwich???
ugh.
He decides to put his (what's a good word?) junk (?) in it.
Yes, he did make a penis sandwich.
He gave it to the hippo woman and she leaned in to take a bite.
(i just puked again. it's fine)
SUDDENLY I am looking through her eyes and I see this giant sandwich coming toward my face. I know that I am not this woman, I am just experiencing everything that she experiences.
I didn't take a bite out of it (and I wouldn't say if I did), but the last thing I saw, before I woke up in a cold sweat, was a bunch of really thin, seedy, over-ripe tomatoes sliding out of the grossest sandwich ever and then I felt them land on my face.
I shouldn't have posted that.
That was 2 days ago and I still feel a little dirty and extremely confused. I don't know what any of that might mean and I am pretty sure I don't want to.
not ever
x
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
It's an ancient Navajo word. It means "stop".
So I was having a talk with dear old mom in a very small room about how she was going to move away. My primary concern, of course, was not that she was leaving, but what was going to happen to her old house. She hadn’t been living there, but apparently she had been renting it to some family. I decided I might want to buy it back and live there.
I got in my car to go look at the house and found a bunch of random papers that belonged to someone else. I started reading through them to see hat the hell they were. It was quite a process because they included weird things, like bank statements and email print outs and a letter from someone who had apparently been reading my blog and wanted to meet me about something. Thing was, all the names were in code. Don’t really remember what the signature said, but it wasn’t any real name. Something like "Super Cool Douchbag" or... something... ok, it probably wasn't Super Cool Douchbag.
At some point I realized the owner was a guy I know who I absolutely adore but in a non-dream world would probably not stalk me with bank statements.
I hunted him down and asked him to come look at my mom’ s house with me.
We went to my mom’s house and found that it was, in fact being lived in. I got inside and saw that whoever was living there was taking good care of it. It had been repainted and all the old furniture that had been covered with tomato soup stains and cat hair had been replaced.
I went into my mom’s old room and got her blanket (I have no idea) leaving the gentleman to entertain himself and started watching Young Guns 2 in the living room.
Now, I don't know why I would want to watch Young Guns 2 on a stranger's couch and I don't know why I would pick 2 over 1, unless it's the whole Balthazar Getty/Christian Slater combo thing...
.I don't question it.
After a while I went to look around the rest of the house. My mom’s room was about the same; furniture and paintings and stuff. In my head I was deciding what I would keep and what would have to go-totally redesigning the place.
I went upstairs where my old room used to be and saw that there were 2 children living there. Both of the rooms were immaculate and all LauraAshley-esque. In one room there was a lot of my old stuff, only it wasn’t personalized anymore. You know, my old picture frame with someone else's pictures in it, that sort of thing-kinda creepy when you think about it.
I went out back and was talking to the man about how I wanted to add on a room to my mom’s old bedroom. I was looking at the flowers which included hyacinths and some weird black and purple fly-trap looking thing, thinking about what I was going to plant next.
IT WAS WEIRD.
Then the whole thing shifted to a sort of stuff you have to do tomorrow dream and the fun abruptly ended.
Yeah, I know it's kind of shitty, but hey, it's the first one I've had in a while and I will not entertain bitching about content. Let me get my sea legs back, k? .k.
I got in my car to go look at the house and found a bunch of random papers that belonged to someone else. I started reading through them to see hat the hell they were. It was quite a process because they included weird things, like bank statements and email print outs and a letter from someone who had apparently been reading my blog and wanted to meet me about something. Thing was, all the names were in code. Don’t really remember what the signature said, but it wasn’t any real name. Something like "Super Cool Douchbag" or... something... ok, it probably wasn't Super Cool Douchbag.
At some point I realized the owner was a guy I know who I absolutely adore but in a non-dream world would probably not stalk me with bank statements.
I hunted him down and asked him to come look at my mom’ s house with me.
We went to my mom’s house and found that it was, in fact being lived in. I got inside and saw that whoever was living there was taking good care of it. It had been repainted and all the old furniture that had been covered with tomato soup stains and cat hair had been replaced.
I went into my mom’s old room and got her blanket (I have no idea) leaving the gentleman to entertain himself and started watching Young Guns 2 in the living room.
Now, I don't know why I would want to watch Young Guns 2 on a stranger's couch and I don't know why I would pick 2 over 1, unless it's the whole Balthazar Getty/Christian Slater combo thing...
.I don't question it.
After a while I went to look around the rest of the house. My mom’s room was about the same; furniture and paintings and stuff. In my head I was deciding what I would keep and what would have to go-totally redesigning the place.
I went upstairs where my old room used to be and saw that there were 2 children living there. Both of the rooms were immaculate and all LauraAshley-esque. In one room there was a lot of my old stuff, only it wasn’t personalized anymore. You know, my old picture frame with someone else's pictures in it, that sort of thing-kinda creepy when you think about it.
I went out back and was talking to the man about how I wanted to add on a room to my mom’s old bedroom. I was looking at the flowers which included hyacinths and some weird black and purple fly-trap looking thing, thinking about what I was going to plant next.
IT WAS WEIRD.
Then the whole thing shifted to a sort of stuff you have to do tomorrow dream and the fun abruptly ended.
Yeah, I know it's kind of shitty, but hey, it's the first one I've had in a while and I will not entertain bitching about content. Let me get my sea legs back, k? .k.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Oh Holy Crap!!! I have a blog???
So 8 months, huh? I guess that's not too bad...for me. Who has time to spill the contents of a tired brain when they're rocking back and forth and crying in the corner? I do, apparently. Not having time to sleep has hindered my ability to dream lately but I'm sure there's other crap going on to entertain the bored masses. I'll get to work on some super cool new stuff, k?
.ok.
x
.ok.
x
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Red satin is neat
I was harvesting stuff from my garden. Of course, I can't just go out and pick stuff, I have to do it in some weird, dreamy way. I harvested my garden Mah Jong style. What? Oh yeah, I matched plants and when I picked two that matched they disappeared. I don't question this crap.
So after I got the goodies picked I decided to wrap the garden to kill off all the weeds and grass and stuff so it would be all ready for the next planting season. I didn't wrap it in mulch, though, that would be too easy. I wrapped it in red satin.
It was really important for me that the strips of satin that I used be exactly the same. As I was cutting the fabric into strips I took great care to make sure that the ends matched and they were of equal length.
I was sitting in my livingroom getting ready to cut a third strip when I realized that my garden was actually in the center of the room and was only about a 3 foot square area cut out from the hardwood floor. I had way too much fabric and would never need all 3 strips.
So after I got the goodies picked I decided to wrap the garden to kill off all the weeds and grass and stuff so it would be all ready for the next planting season. I didn't wrap it in mulch, though, that would be too easy. I wrapped it in red satin.
It was really important for me that the strips of satin that I used be exactly the same. As I was cutting the fabric into strips I took great care to make sure that the ends matched and they were of equal length.
I was sitting in my livingroom getting ready to cut a third strip when I realized that my garden was actually in the center of the room and was only about a 3 foot square area cut out from the hardwood floor. I had way too much fabric and would never need all 3 strips.
livin' it up diner style
I had another “stuff I want but can’t quite have” dream, well, series of dream vignettes, I suppose. I can only remember one, though. It dealt with my living situation and what it could be. My son and I had moved back in with my mother, in the old house that I dream of often, and were taking up residence on the second floor where I lived when I was younger. Usually when I dream about the house it is different in the dream than it truly was. This time it was exactly the same as real life, except I had all my current furniture with me. My son and I were setting up a little apartment in the upstairs. One room was his and one was mine.
In addition to my pretty purple couch (a real life entity) I had acquired a set of tables and booths from some restaurant (I really, really want them). The tops were painted metallic red and the booths were metallic red vinyl. Beautiful. I was just getting the furniture set up, which is the only good part about moving, and we had to leave for some reason.
When we got back to our apartment my mother had gone through everything and left a big mess. None of the furniture was where I had left it and everything was scattered on the floor. I tried to move it back but I wasn’t strong enough.
Another part involved a boy; ‘nough said.
In addition to my pretty purple couch (a real life entity) I had acquired a set of tables and booths from some restaurant (I really, really want them). The tops were painted metallic red and the booths were metallic red vinyl. Beautiful. I was just getting the furniture set up, which is the only good part about moving, and we had to leave for some reason.
When we got back to our apartment my mother had gone through everything and left a big mess. None of the furniture was where I had left it and everything was scattered on the floor. I tried to move it back but I wasn’t strong enough.
Another part involved a boy; ‘nough said.
Tribble cookies
A male friend of mine was smitten with a girl and he wanted me to help him make her cookies. I figured that, since I was already making them, I would make some for me too. I made about 10 different kinds of really elaborate, gourmet type cookie creations. I didn’t like this girl very much and I didn’t want my friend with her so I waited until I made her “special cookies” and I put a whole bunch of salt on them. Not enough that she would get sick, just enough that she would think they were gross and lose interest in my friend. I made a plate for him and a plate for me, putting the salty ones on the bottom.
My friend took off with his plate of salty goodness and I went walking down the street with mine, looking for a gas station so I could buy cigarettes.
An old jeep pulled up next to me. The passenger door opened and inside was karate teacher that I don’t know outside dreamland. He was really, really fat- giant and he had removed the passenger and back seats so there would be room for his big fat ass. He was kind of pissed because I wasn’t in class and he told me to get in. I told him that there wasn’t room for me and that there was only one seatbelt. He leaned over and pushed the inside of the jeep, making it wider. He said we could share a seatbelt. I got in.
In the car I was tempting him with cookies. I was using every peer pressure method in the book to get him to try one-just one! He kept refusing because he was “on a diet”. I told him that some of them were really thin and would be fine for his diet. He wasn’t buying it.
I ended up back at my mom’s house. I was in her bedroom, sitting on her bed talking on the phone to my friend about random bullshit when I saw something unusual on the floor. I watched it for a while, trying to figure out what it was.
It was very flat but it had silky hair, sort of a cross between a Tribble, a Lhasa Apso and a Skate-not the rolly kind, the skim the ocean floor kind. It was really weird but it was so cute and it moved really fast-it was into everything.
I watched as it floated along the floor and rolled its self up to look like a conch shell and this iridescent white color. Then it unraveled and sort of slithered around the room. I called for my mom to come see. She answered that “it better be good” because she was eating dinner. It slithered up into her book shelf and started hissing.
I told the friend I was going to send him a picture on his phone so he could see and he said, “Make it a good one”. My mom came over near the bed where the thing was and I took a picture of it and her feet.
My friend took off with his plate of salty goodness and I went walking down the street with mine, looking for a gas station so I could buy cigarettes.
An old jeep pulled up next to me. The passenger door opened and inside was karate teacher that I don’t know outside dreamland. He was really, really fat- giant and he had removed the passenger and back seats so there would be room for his big fat ass. He was kind of pissed because I wasn’t in class and he told me to get in. I told him that there wasn’t room for me and that there was only one seatbelt. He leaned over and pushed the inside of the jeep, making it wider. He said we could share a seatbelt. I got in.
In the car I was tempting him with cookies. I was using every peer pressure method in the book to get him to try one-just one! He kept refusing because he was “on a diet”. I told him that some of them were really thin and would be fine for his diet. He wasn’t buying it.
I ended up back at my mom’s house. I was in her bedroom, sitting on her bed talking on the phone to my friend about random bullshit when I saw something unusual on the floor. I watched it for a while, trying to figure out what it was.
It was very flat but it had silky hair, sort of a cross between a Tribble, a Lhasa Apso and a Skate-not the rolly kind, the skim the ocean floor kind. It was really weird but it was so cute and it moved really fast-it was into everything.
I watched as it floated along the floor and rolled its self up to look like a conch shell and this iridescent white color. Then it unraveled and sort of slithered around the room. I called for my mom to come see. She answered that “it better be good” because she was eating dinner. It slithered up into her book shelf and started hissing.
I told the friend I was going to send him a picture on his phone so he could see and he said, “Make it a good one”. My mom came over near the bed where the thing was and I took a picture of it and her feet.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Ahoy, my floppy eared matey
I was working in a theme restaurant; pirate themed, I suppose. It was on a ship but it wasn’t on water or anything. The main dining area was on the main deck (I don’t really know pirate terms, so forgive me) but there was also a small dining room in an elevated part (crows nest? I don’t know).
Anyway, I arrived for my day shift and went up to the upper dining room—I’m just going to call it the crows nest, I don’t know—and my tables started filling up. It was also the middle of a shift change, so I had to take over tables from the other server but I couldn’t find her and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. What followed was a typical waitress dream; customers moved around, they changed their orders, I lost tickets, some of them wanted to order food, ALL of them were angry and I didn’t have time to ring anything in. It was chaos.
Finally I started to get drinks rung up but I couldn’t go down to the deck to get them because I kept getting sat. The other server ran upstairs with a tray full of drinks and just left them on the stairs so I had no idea what was what. I got most of them passed out when I looked over and saw some man with a leaf blower blowing sand and sawdust off the floor…and right into the drinks that were still sitting on the stairs. I was pissed.
I should describe what this man looked like because it could be significant or just entertaining. He was a little bit older than me, late 30’s or 40’s. He was wearing a green polo shirt and he had the biggest ears ever. They weren’t like big old man ears, they were like beagle ears; really long and floppy, the left one was longer than the right. It was weird.
So I followed this guy into the basement (?) of the ship, cussing and screaming all the way. I even threw a couple of drinks at him; I was so angry that he had made my hard time even harder by messing up my drinks. I tried to explain how bad he screwed me up but he just kept saying, “get another one, I don’t care, I don’t care”. After I yelled at him a bit I felt sort of bad; I knew it was an over reaction. I tried to apologize but he wouldn’t hear it. Now he was mad at me for being a bitch. I wanted him to understand my reaction and forgive me but he wouldn’t listen, even with those big ol’ ears he wouldn’t hear me.
He said, “Why don’t you just go shopping? You just come in here with all your new stuff it doesn’t matter if you work or not”
I was enraged. I said, “How dare you talk to me like you get it? I don’t have anything! I can’t shop! I don’t have any money; you don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t know anything about me!”
We went back and forth for a while until I finally decided it was pointless and I went back to the dining room to wait on my tables. I ran back up to the main deck and as I ran around the corner I almost crashed into a family coming down the ramp. One of the little boys (11, maybe) took my picture as I turned the corner. I was startled and I screamed. I looked at the picture and it was pretty good so I asked him if he would email it to me. He said yes and I took off running again.
I got to the bar where the other server was picking up drinks. She said, “I hope you know you’re waiting on all the ‘shrimp people’ tonight.” I said, “I hope you know I am leaving in about 15 minutes.”
I looked up at the clock and I realized it was a lot later than I had thought, it was 6:30 and I needed to pick up my son by 6:30…I was going to be late. On closer inspection I saw that the clock was blurry and it was actually 7:30.
I dropped all my stuff and raced out to my car. I was going to call the daycare on my way.
I ran across the street and I noticed a police car had been parked diagonally across it. I was getting into my car when a man got out of the police car. It was clear that he was going to be robbing the store nearby because he had a bandanna tied around his face. I mentally decided to call the police on my way to the daycare.
As I was driving away I felt a breeze. I looked over and saw that both passenger doors were open; someone had been in my car. I reached over and pulled the front door closed but there was nothing I could do about the back one. It didn’t look like they had taken anything, but the inside of my car was kind of disassembled.
Um…that’s it.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
movin' on up
I was moving to an appartment. I was moving back home (although I live there now) from someplace else and I was looking for a place to live. I went to a bunch of really nice appartments and I didn't know how I was going to afford any of them. I was also concerned about storage but my aunt reminded me that my mom was close and she could keep some of my stuff if I didn't have room for it.
At least two of the buildings we went to had problems with the elevators. We would push a button and go past the floor. Sometimes it would stop at the right floor, but as soon as I took a step towards the door it would close and move again. This went on for a long time. We were trying to get off on the third floor but the elevator would only let us off on the fifth.
Finally we both got off on the fifth floor and took seperate elevators back down to the third floor. My aunt's seemed to work fine, but mine would not let me on.
In one building I was spending the night-sort of like a test drive, I suppose. I was laying in bed kind of half sleeping and I heard someone moving around in the alley below. I looked out the window and saw a man pulling a flute out of a case. He started playing it.
When he saw me watching him he motioned for me to come down. I didn't say anything but I nodded. I put on a jacket and a hat and I started down the stairs.
Since I didn't really live there I didn't know exactly how to get to the alley. After a lot of searching I finally realized that the only way was to go through the basement of my biulding and the one next door. I had to go through a series of tunnels and I had to climb and crawl in some spots. Finally I made it out there, where I was joined by a friend of mine.
My friend said he was there to make sure I was OK, he didn't hang out with us, he just sat a few yards away and watched.
The man I was going down to meet had also been joined by a few friends. I asked him if there was a better way to get to the alley from the building. He said that there was only one way (the long way I went) and that pretty soon they would be closing it off because there was some kind of construction being done to the second building. I wouldn't be able to come back.
At least two of the buildings we went to had problems with the elevators. We would push a button and go past the floor. Sometimes it would stop at the right floor, but as soon as I took a step towards the door it would close and move again. This went on for a long time. We were trying to get off on the third floor but the elevator would only let us off on the fifth.
Finally we both got off on the fifth floor and took seperate elevators back down to the third floor. My aunt's seemed to work fine, but mine would not let me on.
In one building I was spending the night-sort of like a test drive, I suppose. I was laying in bed kind of half sleeping and I heard someone moving around in the alley below. I looked out the window and saw a man pulling a flute out of a case. He started playing it.
When he saw me watching him he motioned for me to come down. I didn't say anything but I nodded. I put on a jacket and a hat and I started down the stairs.
Since I didn't really live there I didn't know exactly how to get to the alley. After a lot of searching I finally realized that the only way was to go through the basement of my biulding and the one next door. I had to go through a series of tunnels and I had to climb and crawl in some spots. Finally I made it out there, where I was joined by a friend of mine.
My friend said he was there to make sure I was OK, he didn't hang out with us, he just sat a few yards away and watched.
The man I was going down to meet had also been joined by a few friends. I asked him if there was a better way to get to the alley from the building. He said that there was only one way (the long way I went) and that pretty soon they would be closing it off because there was some kind of construction being done to the second building. I wouldn't be able to come back.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Sleep-away camp
I was working at a summer camp; a performing arts camp for adults. I wasn't just working there, it was my camp--but nobody knew it. Other people ran it and that was fine. Even though I was there I didn't really participate, I spent a lot of time walking around the small colorado town that housed it. My parents were both there. Waking, this would never happen, of course, because they hardly stand each other, but hey, I wasn't awake.
A girl I used to dance with (she was much better than I ever was) was teaching there as were some other of my super talented friends. Most of the people there were my age (25-35) and nearly everyone I have ever known was a camper. Instead of dorms or cabins or whatever camps usually have, everyone was living in this big house...my house in my dream, my mom's old house in real life only much bigger. No one knew it was mine.
On this particular day I was walking through the town with someone else, not sure who and it was all uphill. I had to be back to the camp soon. I didn't think I would be able to make it up the hill so I crawled as fast as I could.When I got to my house I saw that the other people living in it had completely trashed it; there were clothes everywhere and it was dirty. It was a complete mess and I was really upset.
The campers were really mean to me, I kept thinking "if they knew this was my camp they wouldn't treat me like this", but I still didn't say anything. I was trying to get into a room and the people in there wouldn't let me in. Finally I got in but none of them would leave me alone and more people wanted in. They were really pushy. A couple of them were yelling at me and arguing with me; one of them broke a section out of the door.
I was talking to my dad outside about how he was going to let some girl move into his house with him and his wife. She didn't have much money and he needed help with the rent. He said that 2 Sundays a month he would be going over to someone's house to help her build coffee tables.
Every day the performers did a different kind of show and I always watched but I never participated.
Everybody ate lunch together in this big caffeteria. There were no lights but there were big windows that let in just enough light that we could all see. On this day I was eating a sandwich and I was about 3/4 of the way done with it when I realized that it had both ham and salami on it (2 things I do not eat), I tried to get it all out and I was left with a piece of havarti cheese and bread.
It was really, really hot in the caffeteria and I kept saying, "I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can do this" over and over. There was trash everywhere and nobody was doing what they were supposed to and nobody was paying attention to the mess they were making. There was a broken toy on the floor and I got mad and kicked it. I walked up to my dad and I said, "Dad, I do not think I am going to last three weeks here". He said, "I know, I wouldn't expect you to."
(At this point I noticed that I had identical lavender tattoos on the insides of both my forearms)
I walked up to one of my best friends who I love dearly and I sat on his lap and I was hugging him (even though we were both really sweaty and gross because of the heat) and kind of rocking back and forth and I was begging him, "let's just go to Denver, please! Please let's just go to Denver. Just for a few days, let's get out of this place."
x
A girl I used to dance with (she was much better than I ever was) was teaching there as were some other of my super talented friends. Most of the people there were my age (25-35) and nearly everyone I have ever known was a camper. Instead of dorms or cabins or whatever camps usually have, everyone was living in this big house...my house in my dream, my mom's old house in real life only much bigger. No one knew it was mine.
On this particular day I was walking through the town with someone else, not sure who and it was all uphill. I had to be back to the camp soon. I didn't think I would be able to make it up the hill so I crawled as fast as I could.When I got to my house I saw that the other people living in it had completely trashed it; there were clothes everywhere and it was dirty. It was a complete mess and I was really upset.
The campers were really mean to me, I kept thinking "if they knew this was my camp they wouldn't treat me like this", but I still didn't say anything. I was trying to get into a room and the people in there wouldn't let me in. Finally I got in but none of them would leave me alone and more people wanted in. They were really pushy. A couple of them were yelling at me and arguing with me; one of them broke a section out of the door.
I was talking to my dad outside about how he was going to let some girl move into his house with him and his wife. She didn't have much money and he needed help with the rent. He said that 2 Sundays a month he would be going over to someone's house to help her build coffee tables.
Every day the performers did a different kind of show and I always watched but I never participated.
Everybody ate lunch together in this big caffeteria. There were no lights but there were big windows that let in just enough light that we could all see. On this day I was eating a sandwich and I was about 3/4 of the way done with it when I realized that it had both ham and salami on it (2 things I do not eat), I tried to get it all out and I was left with a piece of havarti cheese and bread.
It was really, really hot in the caffeteria and I kept saying, "I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can do this" over and over. There was trash everywhere and nobody was doing what they were supposed to and nobody was paying attention to the mess they were making. There was a broken toy on the floor and I got mad and kicked it. I walked up to my dad and I said, "Dad, I do not think I am going to last three weeks here". He said, "I know, I wouldn't expect you to."
(At this point I noticed that I had identical lavender tattoos on the insides of both my forearms)
I walked up to one of my best friends who I love dearly and I sat on his lap and I was hugging him (even though we were both really sweaty and gross because of the heat) and kind of rocking back and forth and I was begging him, "let's just go to Denver, please! Please let's just go to Denver. Just for a few days, let's get out of this place."
x
I get ignored in my own dreams
I was in the library and this man I know called me. Rather than answer my phone I decided to go to his house which was, conveniently, in the same building as the library; I figured he was really close and I wanted to talk to him in person. I went into a bedroom which I suppose was his, although I have been in his bedroom while awake and this one was much nicer...Anyway, he and this girl who I have met a few times were there. She was kind of poking around and messing with stuff and he was lounging on the bed playing on a laptop and talking on the phone.
I had something important to say but every time I tried to tell him he picked up the phone and said a few things to the person on the other end. This went on for a while. I could sort of hear the other person on the phone, you know, like when someone has the volume turned up rediculously loud. It wasn't a normal conversation; he only picked up the phone every once in a while.
Since he wasn't listening to me I decided to write him a note, because I thought what I needed to tell him was terribly important. I didn't have any paper but I did have a photograph of myself so I decided to write on that. It wasn't just an ordinary photo, though, it had an elaborate scene painted on it and parts of it were raised like those puffy stickers from when I was a kid.
The problem was that the picture was too small so I used a machine to enlarge it. I couldn't seem to make it big enough. I made a bunch of copies because I kept trying to get it perfect, but every time it came out of the machine something was wrong with it. Finally I settled for version that was "ok", it was acceptable and it was close to being as good as I wanted it to be. I was pretty disappointed though.
As I was doing that I overheard his end of the phone conversation. He was talking to his parents--one at a time of course. I guess he was going to be going on vacation to visit them because he said they would have to leave Friday night and drive through the night in order to get there in time. During his weird phone thing I was busy trying to make him something that I thought would be cool.
When I started to write my message on the picture I realized that most of the picture was very dark and there wasn't room on the light part for everything I needed to say. If the area wasn't almost black there was something pretty on it and I didn't want to write over that. I looked all over and found a light yellow-green gel pen to use. It showed up, but the more I wrote the more it leaked and smudged and broke. I ended up with a big pool of ink all over the picture and my note was illegible.
I was trying to make this thing for the girl too because I thought it would be pretty and I thought she would like it but I just couldn't get it right.
He talked to me a little bit but he wasn't really paying attention. While he was pretending to be engaged in our conversation he was also talking to some girl on his laptop and it was really frustrating that he wouldn't pay attention because I thought what I was saying was important.
x
I had something important to say but every time I tried to tell him he picked up the phone and said a few things to the person on the other end. This went on for a while. I could sort of hear the other person on the phone, you know, like when someone has the volume turned up rediculously loud. It wasn't a normal conversation; he only picked up the phone every once in a while.
Since he wasn't listening to me I decided to write him a note, because I thought what I needed to tell him was terribly important. I didn't have any paper but I did have a photograph of myself so I decided to write on that. It wasn't just an ordinary photo, though, it had an elaborate scene painted on it and parts of it were raised like those puffy stickers from when I was a kid.
The problem was that the picture was too small so I used a machine to enlarge it. I couldn't seem to make it big enough. I made a bunch of copies because I kept trying to get it perfect, but every time it came out of the machine something was wrong with it. Finally I settled for version that was "ok", it was acceptable and it was close to being as good as I wanted it to be. I was pretty disappointed though.
As I was doing that I overheard his end of the phone conversation. He was talking to his parents--one at a time of course. I guess he was going to be going on vacation to visit them because he said they would have to leave Friday night and drive through the night in order to get there in time. During his weird phone thing I was busy trying to make him something that I thought would be cool.
When I started to write my message on the picture I realized that most of the picture was very dark and there wasn't room on the light part for everything I needed to say. If the area wasn't almost black there was something pretty on it and I didn't want to write over that. I looked all over and found a light yellow-green gel pen to use. It showed up, but the more I wrote the more it leaked and smudged and broke. I ended up with a big pool of ink all over the picture and my note was illegible.
I was trying to make this thing for the girl too because I thought it would be pretty and I thought she would like it but I just couldn't get it right.
He talked to me a little bit but he wasn't really paying attention. While he was pretending to be engaged in our conversation he was also talking to some girl on his laptop and it was really frustrating that he wouldn't pay attention because I thought what I was saying was important.
x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
