I was working at a summer camp; a performing arts camp for adults. I wasn't just working there, it was my camp--but nobody knew it. Other people ran it and that was fine. Even though I was there I didn't really participate, I spent a lot of time walking around the small colorado town that housed it. My parents were both there. Waking, this would never happen, of course, because they hardly stand each other, but hey, I wasn't awake.
A girl I used to dance with (she was much better than I ever was) was teaching there as were some other of my super talented friends. Most of the people there were my age (25-35) and nearly everyone I have ever known was a camper. Instead of dorms or cabins or whatever camps usually have, everyone was living in this big house...my house in my dream, my mom's old house in real life only much bigger. No one knew it was mine.
On this particular day I was walking through the town with someone else, not sure who and it was all uphill. I had to be back to the camp soon. I didn't think I would be able to make it up the hill so I crawled as fast as I could.When I got to my house I saw that the other people living in it had completely trashed it; there were clothes everywhere and it was dirty. It was a complete mess and I was really upset.
The campers were really mean to me, I kept thinking "if they knew this was my camp they wouldn't treat me like this", but I still didn't say anything. I was trying to get into a room and the people in there wouldn't let me in. Finally I got in but none of them would leave me alone and more people wanted in. They were really pushy. A couple of them were yelling at me and arguing with me; one of them broke a section out of the door.
I was talking to my dad outside about how he was going to let some girl move into his house with him and his wife. She didn't have much money and he needed help with the rent. He said that 2 Sundays a month he would be going over to someone's house to help her build coffee tables.
Every day the performers did a different kind of show and I always watched but I never participated.
Everybody ate lunch together in this big caffeteria. There were no lights but there were big windows that let in just enough light that we could all see. On this day I was eating a sandwich and I was about 3/4 of the way done with it when I realized that it had both ham and salami on it (2 things I do not eat), I tried to get it all out and I was left with a piece of havarti cheese and bread.
It was really, really hot in the caffeteria and I kept saying, "I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can do this" over and over. There was trash everywhere and nobody was doing what they were supposed to and nobody was paying attention to the mess they were making. There was a broken toy on the floor and I got mad and kicked it. I walked up to my dad and I said, "Dad, I do not think I am going to last three weeks here". He said, "I know, I wouldn't expect you to."
(At this point I noticed that I had identical lavender tattoos on the insides of both my forearms)
I walked up to one of my best friends who I love dearly and I sat on his lap and I was hugging him (even though we were both really sweaty and gross because of the heat) and kind of rocking back and forth and I was begging him, "let's just go to Denver, please! Please let's just go to Denver. Just for a few days, let's get out of this place."
x
Friday, June 30, 2006
I get ignored in my own dreams
I was in the library and this man I know called me. Rather than answer my phone I decided to go to his house which was, conveniently, in the same building as the library; I figured he was really close and I wanted to talk to him in person. I went into a bedroom which I suppose was his, although I have been in his bedroom while awake and this one was much nicer...Anyway, he and this girl who I have met a few times were there. She was kind of poking around and messing with stuff and he was lounging on the bed playing on a laptop and talking on the phone.
I had something important to say but every time I tried to tell him he picked up the phone and said a few things to the person on the other end. This went on for a while. I could sort of hear the other person on the phone, you know, like when someone has the volume turned up rediculously loud. It wasn't a normal conversation; he only picked up the phone every once in a while.
Since he wasn't listening to me I decided to write him a note, because I thought what I needed to tell him was terribly important. I didn't have any paper but I did have a photograph of myself so I decided to write on that. It wasn't just an ordinary photo, though, it had an elaborate scene painted on it and parts of it were raised like those puffy stickers from when I was a kid.
The problem was that the picture was too small so I used a machine to enlarge it. I couldn't seem to make it big enough. I made a bunch of copies because I kept trying to get it perfect, but every time it came out of the machine something was wrong with it. Finally I settled for version that was "ok", it was acceptable and it was close to being as good as I wanted it to be. I was pretty disappointed though.
As I was doing that I overheard his end of the phone conversation. He was talking to his parents--one at a time of course. I guess he was going to be going on vacation to visit them because he said they would have to leave Friday night and drive through the night in order to get there in time. During his weird phone thing I was busy trying to make him something that I thought would be cool.
When I started to write my message on the picture I realized that most of the picture was very dark and there wasn't room on the light part for everything I needed to say. If the area wasn't almost black there was something pretty on it and I didn't want to write over that. I looked all over and found a light yellow-green gel pen to use. It showed up, but the more I wrote the more it leaked and smudged and broke. I ended up with a big pool of ink all over the picture and my note was illegible.
I was trying to make this thing for the girl too because I thought it would be pretty and I thought she would like it but I just couldn't get it right.
He talked to me a little bit but he wasn't really paying attention. While he was pretending to be engaged in our conversation he was also talking to some girl on his laptop and it was really frustrating that he wouldn't pay attention because I thought what I was saying was important.
x
I had something important to say but every time I tried to tell him he picked up the phone and said a few things to the person on the other end. This went on for a while. I could sort of hear the other person on the phone, you know, like when someone has the volume turned up rediculously loud. It wasn't a normal conversation; he only picked up the phone every once in a while.
Since he wasn't listening to me I decided to write him a note, because I thought what I needed to tell him was terribly important. I didn't have any paper but I did have a photograph of myself so I decided to write on that. It wasn't just an ordinary photo, though, it had an elaborate scene painted on it and parts of it were raised like those puffy stickers from when I was a kid.
The problem was that the picture was too small so I used a machine to enlarge it. I couldn't seem to make it big enough. I made a bunch of copies because I kept trying to get it perfect, but every time it came out of the machine something was wrong with it. Finally I settled for version that was "ok", it was acceptable and it was close to being as good as I wanted it to be. I was pretty disappointed though.
As I was doing that I overheard his end of the phone conversation. He was talking to his parents--one at a time of course. I guess he was going to be going on vacation to visit them because he said they would have to leave Friday night and drive through the night in order to get there in time. During his weird phone thing I was busy trying to make him something that I thought would be cool.
When I started to write my message on the picture I realized that most of the picture was very dark and there wasn't room on the light part for everything I needed to say. If the area wasn't almost black there was something pretty on it and I didn't want to write over that. I looked all over and found a light yellow-green gel pen to use. It showed up, but the more I wrote the more it leaked and smudged and broke. I ended up with a big pool of ink all over the picture and my note was illegible.
I was trying to make this thing for the girl too because I thought it would be pretty and I thought she would like it but I just couldn't get it right.
He talked to me a little bit but he wasn't really paying attention. While he was pretending to be engaged in our conversation he was also talking to some girl on his laptop and it was really frustrating that he wouldn't pay attention because I thought what I was saying was important.
x
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Needles and yardwork
I woke up at 4:03 pm, 6 hours after I had to be up. I rushed to a friend’s house. The house was full of that horrible wood paneling and it was quite bare. I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was only 1:03 and I wasn’t as late as I had thought. I soon noticed that all the clocks were wrong and it was, in fact, only 11:03 and everything was fine.
Next thing I know I am in a girl’s car on my way to a photo shoot with a bunch of other girls. Again, I was starting to worry that I would be late. It was dark, and though we knew where we were supposed to be, a little place right off the highway, we couldn’t figure out how exactly to get there. We were following another car of girls and they turned off the highway too quickly for us to keep up, we had to go way out of our way to find an exit or a place to turn around.
Finally we got into the parking lot and got out of the car. The girl who had been driving asked me if I would mind if she snorted something, I said no, it was fine. Then she pulled out a needle and was going to shoot something. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but it was electric blue. She asked if I would like to join her. I really seriously considered it for a long time but decided not to.
I was in my yard only instead of being my yard it was huge--almost plantation-like. I was working but it was clear that I was of some higher social status than the other workers. One of the workers, my “employees” was an older woman with a sincere smile. I noticed that she had totally cleaned up my formerly disastrous garden and had started planting things. She was telling me about how she wanted to plant climbing roses on the back couple of rows. I was filled with gratitude that she had wanted to do so much for me. She was all smiles and quite happy. I didn’t know how to thank her so I gave her a handful of cash. She tried to refuse the money but I wouldn’t let her. Before I got into my car and drove off we made plans to plant together soon.
x
Next thing I know I am in a girl’s car on my way to a photo shoot with a bunch of other girls. Again, I was starting to worry that I would be late. It was dark, and though we knew where we were supposed to be, a little place right off the highway, we couldn’t figure out how exactly to get there. We were following another car of girls and they turned off the highway too quickly for us to keep up, we had to go way out of our way to find an exit or a place to turn around.
Finally we got into the parking lot and got out of the car. The girl who had been driving asked me if I would mind if she snorted something, I said no, it was fine. Then she pulled out a needle and was going to shoot something. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but it was electric blue. She asked if I would like to join her. I really seriously considered it for a long time but decided not to.
I was in my yard only instead of being my yard it was huge--almost plantation-like. I was working but it was clear that I was of some higher social status than the other workers. One of the workers, my “employees” was an older woman with a sincere smile. I noticed that she had totally cleaned up my formerly disastrous garden and had started planting things. She was telling me about how she wanted to plant climbing roses on the back couple of rows. I was filled with gratitude that she had wanted to do so much for me. She was all smiles and quite happy. I didn’t know how to thank her so I gave her a handful of cash. She tried to refuse the money but I wouldn’t let her. Before I got into my car and drove off we made plans to plant together soon.
x
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
subconsciously manifested anxiety
Characters:
Paul: my 7 year old son
Delilah: a professor in my department at school
Babs: Chair of the department
Willy: super-cool mentor type
PCU: my current university
PU: the university where I got my B.A.
Bastard: the ex
Whore: his current girlfriend (there was overlap)
Shelly: My aunt who lives in NY; I see her about 5 times a year
Carol: My aunt who is a professor of graduate education at a local university; very much a mentor
Jesse: My older, screwed up sister
I was living on PCU’s campus. It was huge and included within it an entire neighborhood. There were four main buildings. There was the building where I lived, which was also set up to be an administration building, my mother’s old house, my old apartment that Jesse was living in, a dark shadowy building that the dream began in.
Carol, Shelly, my mother, Paul and I were sitting on couches in the shadowy building, talking about family stuff. I realized that it was very late and it was time for Paul to go to bed. He was already in his pajamas so I told him to go on home and go to bed. If he left out the back door, it was a lot quicker getting home than if he left out the front door; there was a short cut or something. He started walking home and my mother soon left too, out the front door.
I was talking to Carol and Shelly about a meal that I was to have prepared for some family function. I looked up at the calendar, which was completely full and marked up and realized that the date of the function had come and gone and I had completely forgotten about this meal. I was suddenly struck with a feeling that I should go check on Paul.
I looked out the window because I could see his bedroom window from where we were and I saw that his light was still on and he was not in his room. Even as I was doing this, though I wasn’t completely sure if it was his room I was looking at. I decided to go check on him. I hugged Shelly and Carol and left out the front door, taking the long way.
I walked through a very nice neighborhood that was also on campus. As I was walking past a house, a man was leaving, yelling at someone inside. He walked with me for a bit. He seemed to be, very obviously, hitting on me. When we got to the administration building where my home was he said “I have to tell you something, I am a professor at PCU, I teach math” he was telling me this because of the university’s policy on dual relationships. I told him that I was done with all of my undergrad stuff and wasn’t going to be taking any more math classes.
Babs, Willy and Delilah were getting out of a car, having just gotten back from some conference. They were all dressed alike. Willy approached me and told me that she needed to have a meeting with me about something. I asked her if it was alright if I checked on Paul first. She said, “of course”.
I walked past Delilah and Babs on my way to his room. I noticed that Delilah was wearing a dress (very uncharacteristic). As I walked past, she told me that we needed to have a meeting.
I had to pass through a bunch of students who were watching some sporting event.
Roxanne (a girl I dance with) was there watching too. She note that it was funny that PCU had a team of killer fish (actual fish) participating called “the sharks” I told her that PU had one too, called the rays, but I never went to a match.
I finally got to Paul’s room and he wasn’t there. I tried not to panic but I was having a lot of trouble breathing. I made my way back to the faculty lounge. There I told Babs to please call 911. Instead she called my phone so I would have her number and she would have mine. I left to look around town.
I looked in Jesse’s house and Paul was not there. Outside I ran into my dad and told him what had happened. He wasn’t too concerned but I wasn’t breathing. I was in a full blown panic but was trying to conceal it. I asked him to call 911 but he could not work the phone.
I went on, running through the streets shouting Paul’s name. Finally I leaned against a fence and imagined what I would do if he were gone forever. I decided that I would cease to exist, that if I didn’t find him that night it would be my last night on earth. I was shouting his name as I passed my mom’s house and she came out and said, “See, when you yell like that sometimes you wake people up and then you get what you want” I looked to see Paul sleepily walking down her stairs. She didn’t feel bed at all and didn’t understand why I was upset that he was with her. Paul was mad at me because he wanted to stay with his grandma that night so I let him go back in and go to sleep.
When I got home after being gone all day I found Bastard and Whore asleep on the floor next to my couch. Before Bastard woke up I went over and sat next to Whore and put a pillow over her face. He woke up and stopped me. He told me that they had been going home and couldn’t make it so they decided to sleep at my house. We sat on the floor for a while and talked about stuff. Some of it was pretty personal relationship stuff, I said I had been unhappy for years, and a lot of it was what he was doing at work. Every once in a while I would reach over and hurt Whore; I would pinch her or slap her. When Bastard expressed to me that he didn’t like me hurting his girlfriend, I told him, “at least I didn’t break her face, and I wanted to”. He said, “Why don’t you then?” I said, “Because I’m better than her...” They both agreed.
X
*All names have been changed, to protect…myself.*
Paul: my 7 year old son
Delilah: a professor in my department at school
Babs: Chair of the department
Willy: super-cool mentor type
PCU: my current university
PU: the university where I got my B.A.
Bastard: the ex
Whore: his current girlfriend (there was overlap)
Shelly: My aunt who lives in NY; I see her about 5 times a year
Carol: My aunt who is a professor of graduate education at a local university; very much a mentor
Jesse: My older, screwed up sister
I was living on PCU’s campus. It was huge and included within it an entire neighborhood. There were four main buildings. There was the building where I lived, which was also set up to be an administration building, my mother’s old house, my old apartment that Jesse was living in, a dark shadowy building that the dream began in.
Carol, Shelly, my mother, Paul and I were sitting on couches in the shadowy building, talking about family stuff. I realized that it was very late and it was time for Paul to go to bed. He was already in his pajamas so I told him to go on home and go to bed. If he left out the back door, it was a lot quicker getting home than if he left out the front door; there was a short cut or something. He started walking home and my mother soon left too, out the front door.
I was talking to Carol and Shelly about a meal that I was to have prepared for some family function. I looked up at the calendar, which was completely full and marked up and realized that the date of the function had come and gone and I had completely forgotten about this meal. I was suddenly struck with a feeling that I should go check on Paul.
I looked out the window because I could see his bedroom window from where we were and I saw that his light was still on and he was not in his room. Even as I was doing this, though I wasn’t completely sure if it was his room I was looking at. I decided to go check on him. I hugged Shelly and Carol and left out the front door, taking the long way.
I walked through a very nice neighborhood that was also on campus. As I was walking past a house, a man was leaving, yelling at someone inside. He walked with me for a bit. He seemed to be, very obviously, hitting on me. When we got to the administration building where my home was he said “I have to tell you something, I am a professor at PCU, I teach math” he was telling me this because of the university’s policy on dual relationships. I told him that I was done with all of my undergrad stuff and wasn’t going to be taking any more math classes.
Babs, Willy and Delilah were getting out of a car, having just gotten back from some conference. They were all dressed alike. Willy approached me and told me that she needed to have a meeting with me about something. I asked her if it was alright if I checked on Paul first. She said, “of course”.
I walked past Delilah and Babs on my way to his room. I noticed that Delilah was wearing a dress (very uncharacteristic). As I walked past, she told me that we needed to have a meeting.
I had to pass through a bunch of students who were watching some sporting event.
Roxanne (a girl I dance with) was there watching too. She note that it was funny that PCU had a team of killer fish (actual fish) participating called “the sharks” I told her that PU had one too, called the rays, but I never went to a match.
I finally got to Paul’s room and he wasn’t there. I tried not to panic but I was having a lot of trouble breathing. I made my way back to the faculty lounge. There I told Babs to please call 911. Instead she called my phone so I would have her number and she would have mine. I left to look around town.
I looked in Jesse’s house and Paul was not there. Outside I ran into my dad and told him what had happened. He wasn’t too concerned but I wasn’t breathing. I was in a full blown panic but was trying to conceal it. I asked him to call 911 but he could not work the phone.
I went on, running through the streets shouting Paul’s name. Finally I leaned against a fence and imagined what I would do if he were gone forever. I decided that I would cease to exist, that if I didn’t find him that night it would be my last night on earth. I was shouting his name as I passed my mom’s house and she came out and said, “See, when you yell like that sometimes you wake people up and then you get what you want” I looked to see Paul sleepily walking down her stairs. She didn’t feel bed at all and didn’t understand why I was upset that he was with her. Paul was mad at me because he wanted to stay with his grandma that night so I let him go back in and go to sleep.
When I got home after being gone all day I found Bastard and Whore asleep on the floor next to my couch. Before Bastard woke up I went over and sat next to Whore and put a pillow over her face. He woke up and stopped me. He told me that they had been going home and couldn’t make it so they decided to sleep at my house. We sat on the floor for a while and talked about stuff. Some of it was pretty personal relationship stuff, I said I had been unhappy for years, and a lot of it was what he was doing at work. Every once in a while I would reach over and hurt Whore; I would pinch her or slap her. When Bastard expressed to me that he didn’t like me hurting his girlfriend, I told him, “at least I didn’t break her face, and I wanted to”. He said, “Why don’t you then?” I said, “Because I’m better than her...” They both agreed.
X
*All names have been changed, to protect…myself.*
Saturday, June 17, 2006
monotony with a splash of interpretation
I dreamed about this boy all night, over and over he was just...there. There were conversations that I really can't remember but I don't think they were too important; the important thing was that he was there. Here's the splash: I know that in my waking life it could never happen. I know that, though I want it, there's no way he could ever be what I would need him to be. I've accepted that...except, perhaps, when I'm dreaming. Maybe my dream was my subconscious throwing me a crumb and letting me experience what I probably never really will...
After I was done with the boy I was walking through a thrift store with a friend of mine. They were getting ready to close and I was determined to make it to a back room where they made keys. I needed to copy a key to my house (as I do in reality). When I finally found the room where keys were made I was looking at the key display when I realized my ex had not given me a key to the house yet and my mission was pointless.
x
After I was done with the boy I was walking through a thrift store with a friend of mine. They were getting ready to close and I was determined to make it to a back room where they made keys. I needed to copy a key to my house (as I do in reality). When I finally found the room where keys were made I was looking at the key display when I realized my ex had not given me a key to the house yet and my mission was pointless.
x
Thursday, June 15, 2006
sex and kittens
I was living with my mother again (not sure what the deal with that is) and also my current roommate. There were about a million cats living in the yard. Roommate and I already have 2 cats and I can't do another one, even though I would like to. Anyway, the cats that lived in the yard were of an odd assortment; sizes, shapes, colors, and roommate and I were choosing one each to live with us in the house.
He picked one that I am pretty sure was a baby lion or something, It had a very large, almost rectangular head. I petted it and I was sure it was going to bite my hand off...it didn't. I was playing with this little kitten that didn't have any back legs--not even stumps. It kind of scooted around and it was clear that this injury was pretty new. I thought it was the sweetest kitten I had ever met. Though nothing (that I remember) particularly special happened during out encounter, I somehow formed a connection with the two legged kitten and I LOVED it. It was my friend.
I didn't know this kitten was an option, so I didn't pick a cat to come live in the house. When I told my mom about it shw asked why I didn't bring it in. I told her that I didn't know I had that choice. I looked outside and the kitten was gone. I was, naturally, really upset about this. Instead of comforting me, like a good mother would have done, mine started trying to convince me that having an amputee cat would have been a bad idea anyway. She said things like
"where would it have slept?"
"in my room in a cage"
"but without its legs it could never make it up the stairs"
I could have carried it"
"it was a bad idea"
that's that.
Later I had a sex dream about my son's karate instructor. Yeah, he's hot, but totally not my type, except that I like to look at pretty men. After we, um, got bouncy, he told me that they were moving the karate school to Argentina. I was really upset because I was paid up through the entire year and I was afraid of losing all that money (ninja training is expensive). I kept trying to get his attention long enough to ask him what was going on and if there was a different school we could join that would honor our arrangement but he was too busy with all the soccer moms who were coming into the school. These chicks were basically decorating the school with banners and streamers and crap like that. When I expressed how upset I was that they were moving the school one of them looked up at me and (in the snottiest soccer mom voice ever) said,
"well, it's not like you guys ever come anyway"
I replied,"I have been trying to come, I left 3 messages for (the man I had just banged) and he never called me back"
"oh, well you should have come in, I guess, too bad"
Not sure about any of that, either.
x
He picked one that I am pretty sure was a baby lion or something, It had a very large, almost rectangular head. I petted it and I was sure it was going to bite my hand off...it didn't. I was playing with this little kitten that didn't have any back legs--not even stumps. It kind of scooted around and it was clear that this injury was pretty new. I thought it was the sweetest kitten I had ever met. Though nothing (that I remember) particularly special happened during out encounter, I somehow formed a connection with the two legged kitten and I LOVED it. It was my friend.
I didn't know this kitten was an option, so I didn't pick a cat to come live in the house. When I told my mom about it shw asked why I didn't bring it in. I told her that I didn't know I had that choice. I looked outside and the kitten was gone. I was, naturally, really upset about this. Instead of comforting me, like a good mother would have done, mine started trying to convince me that having an amputee cat would have been a bad idea anyway. She said things like
"where would it have slept?"
"in my room in a cage"
"but without its legs it could never make it up the stairs"
I could have carried it"
"it was a bad idea"
that's that.
Later I had a sex dream about my son's karate instructor. Yeah, he's hot, but totally not my type, except that I like to look at pretty men. After we, um, got bouncy, he told me that they were moving the karate school to Argentina. I was really upset because I was paid up through the entire year and I was afraid of losing all that money (ninja training is expensive). I kept trying to get his attention long enough to ask him what was going on and if there was a different school we could join that would honor our arrangement but he was too busy with all the soccer moms who were coming into the school. These chicks were basically decorating the school with banners and streamers and crap like that. When I expressed how upset I was that they were moving the school one of them looked up at me and (in the snottiest soccer mom voice ever) said,
"well, it's not like you guys ever come anyway"
I replied,"I have been trying to come, I left 3 messages for (the man I had just banged) and he never called me back"
"oh, well you should have come in, I guess, too bad"
Not sure about any of that, either.
x
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Bag o' cousins
Here’s another one that took place at my mom’s old house. I’m not really sure what that’s all about, but if 3 of my last notable dreams involved her house or the neighborhood, there must be some significance, right. This must have taken place several years ago, as my son was just a baby and the little kids that lived down the street were probably 3 and 8 years old (they’re probably in high school now).
I was in the house with my mom (my son was asleep). It must have been very early in the morning. We were standing in the kitchen when my mom told me that she had just killed two of her cousins because they wanted to hurt my son. I don’t know if she had chopped them up or what, but they were in bags on the kitchen counter. I realized that they were going to begin to stink soon and I would have to bury them. As I looked out the window into the back yard my mom told me that burying them would be my job. She said a good place would be underneath the big tree in the back yard. I was suspicious that maybe she had already started burying them in the garden, but she assured me that she had not.
I took the bags o’ cousin out to the driveway, right in front of the garage. I was to put the bodies in a big box that a rocking horse had come in. So I had the box, the rocking horse, the bogs of bodies and assorted decorative things spread out in the driveway. It was a Saturday morning and I could hear the spider man theme song playing on the TV in the house. I thought I would have some privacy because the neighbor kids would be watching cartoons too…but they weren’t, they were playing in their back yard right in my line of sight. I quickly filled the box with a layer of white tissue paper and the bag of cousins followed by another layer of tissue paper. At that time the kids came over to see what I was doing. I tried to close the box as best I could and told them that I was wrapping a present for my mom’s cousin. The little girl (the older one) said “oh, but the present isn’t in the box”. I confirmed this but didn’t elaborate. Because the rocking horse was still sitting nearby I pointed to that and suggested that it was the present. I decorated the box and got out a can of brown spray paint. The box was made of some sort of foam, you see, and I thought a layer of paint might make it sturdier (it was a dream, blow me). I started spray painting the rocking horse with the brown spray paint when their mother came over to see what was going on. I tried to act as normal as possible. The little boy (probably 3 years old) kept getting closer and closer to the horse until he ended up getting paint all over his clothes.
Thoughts?
x
I was in the house with my mom (my son was asleep). It must have been very early in the morning. We were standing in the kitchen when my mom told me that she had just killed two of her cousins because they wanted to hurt my son. I don’t know if she had chopped them up or what, but they were in bags on the kitchen counter. I realized that they were going to begin to stink soon and I would have to bury them. As I looked out the window into the back yard my mom told me that burying them would be my job. She said a good place would be underneath the big tree in the back yard. I was suspicious that maybe she had already started burying them in the garden, but she assured me that she had not.
I took the bags o’ cousin out to the driveway, right in front of the garage. I was to put the bodies in a big box that a rocking horse had come in. So I had the box, the rocking horse, the bogs of bodies and assorted decorative things spread out in the driveway. It was a Saturday morning and I could hear the spider man theme song playing on the TV in the house. I thought I would have some privacy because the neighbor kids would be watching cartoons too…but they weren’t, they were playing in their back yard right in my line of sight. I quickly filled the box with a layer of white tissue paper and the bag of cousins followed by another layer of tissue paper. At that time the kids came over to see what I was doing. I tried to close the box as best I could and told them that I was wrapping a present for my mom’s cousin. The little girl (the older one) said “oh, but the present isn’t in the box”. I confirmed this but didn’t elaborate. Because the rocking horse was still sitting nearby I pointed to that and suggested that it was the present. I decorated the box and got out a can of brown spray paint. The box was made of some sort of foam, you see, and I thought a layer of paint might make it sturdier (it was a dream, blow me). I started spray painting the rocking horse with the brown spray paint when their mother came over to see what was going on. I tried to act as normal as possible. The little boy (probably 3 years old) kept getting closer and closer to the horse until he ended up getting paint all over his clothes.
Thoughts?
x
Friday, June 02, 2006
this is what I get for eating sushi twice in one day...
My dream started off in this restaurant that I worked at very briefly, but had taken the place of a place I had worked at for many years which I absolutely loved. In addition to the hundreds of new servers and staff that I didn’t know, there were several from the current restaurant that I know and many from the original. There were some that I didn’t even really like when we worked together, but having been through so many years together, I still have some sort of fondness for them. I was not working there, I was just in to say hi, but there were so many of my old friends that I stayed for a long time. Anthony, who was sort of a manager from the first place and was a really good friend of mine was there and I spent most of the time with him, but he was pretty busy with work stuff.. I somehow ended up attending their morning line up (there were literally hundreds of servers) and I watched them all having fun with each other. We somehow got our cell phones all mixed up and I was looking for mine. When I found it I gave it to Aaron (who we called useless sac, long story) and asked him to put his number in it. After he took it, I couldn’t find it for a while. I had what I thought was my phone, but when I picked it up and started going through it to see if he added any offensive crap I realized it was someone else’s and found some really disturbing text messages.
In my dream, the current restaurant had for some reason decided to open a new branch in this woman’s house. Background: Sandy, the homeowner, is the mother of a friend of mine who I have known since I was 4. There were 3 of us in the neighborhood and it was almost like we shared families. It was a weird situation but whatever… her daughter Paige (not really) was one of my best friends growing up and yet somehow, we never talk anymore. It’s more than a lost connection, though, because it is almost like we don’t like each other anymore, a fact that doesn’t really bother me even though I think it is most unfortunate and I don’t really understand why.
So I’ was sitting in this “restaurant” which is in a house that I haven’t been in for almost 10 years but it looked exactly the same. There were servers running all around and apparently, sleeping in the bedrooms but there were no tables in sight. The company that I was with was mostly old friends of mine from the 2 previously mentioned restaurants and also Paige and the other girl who lived on the block, Becky (not really). Beck I am still friends with and I love her dearly but we only see each other or talk about once a month. So we were hanging out in the living room and I asked where all the business was. Becky explained to me that the tables were actually in the garage. I thought that was hysterical and kept laughing and saying “but I used to pee in there!” (I don’t think I ever really did, though). At this point Paige was nowhere to be found, probably doing something in another room and the only people there NOT working were Becky, myself and a couple of old friends of mine. For some reason the topic of our mothers came up and Becky and I ended up in a pretty heated argument over which one of our mothers was more abusive when we were kids…it was not a great time. This little exchange ended up with both of us crying on each other’s shoulders for some time. Then Becky said something about how Sandy was only getting 350 dollars a month rent from the restaurant. At that point I freaked out saying that if they were in a real building they would be paying at least 4 times that and that they were taking complete advantage of her. I was outraged and said that she was all of our mothers and how could they (Becky and Paige) do that to her? Her response was “she likes the money; she doesn’t mind that it’s only 350.00”. This prompted a screaming fight between the two of us. I didn’t understand them taking advantage of her especially because the restaurant didn’t have a license and if they got caught it would be Sandy, not the shitty company, who got in trouble. At some point, Paige walked in from the kitchen and heard what was being said. She immediately took Becky’s side of the argument and told me to leave and that she didn’t want to see me again. I said “fine, Paige”, I didn’t have any fight left in me by that time and as I was leaving she hugged me and said that she missed me and needed me. I woke up literally sobbing and couldn’t stop for a good five minutes.
Pretty crazy, huh?
In my dream, the current restaurant had for some reason decided to open a new branch in this woman’s house. Background: Sandy, the homeowner, is the mother of a friend of mine who I have known since I was 4. There were 3 of us in the neighborhood and it was almost like we shared families. It was a weird situation but whatever… her daughter Paige (not really) was one of my best friends growing up and yet somehow, we never talk anymore. It’s more than a lost connection, though, because it is almost like we don’t like each other anymore, a fact that doesn’t really bother me even though I think it is most unfortunate and I don’t really understand why.
So I’ was sitting in this “restaurant” which is in a house that I haven’t been in for almost 10 years but it looked exactly the same. There were servers running all around and apparently, sleeping in the bedrooms but there were no tables in sight. The company that I was with was mostly old friends of mine from the 2 previously mentioned restaurants and also Paige and the other girl who lived on the block, Becky (not really). Beck I am still friends with and I love her dearly but we only see each other or talk about once a month. So we were hanging out in the living room and I asked where all the business was. Becky explained to me that the tables were actually in the garage. I thought that was hysterical and kept laughing and saying “but I used to pee in there!” (I don’t think I ever really did, though). At this point Paige was nowhere to be found, probably doing something in another room and the only people there NOT working were Becky, myself and a couple of old friends of mine. For some reason the topic of our mothers came up and Becky and I ended up in a pretty heated argument over which one of our mothers was more abusive when we were kids…it was not a great time. This little exchange ended up with both of us crying on each other’s shoulders for some time. Then Becky said something about how Sandy was only getting 350 dollars a month rent from the restaurant. At that point I freaked out saying that if they were in a real building they would be paying at least 4 times that and that they were taking complete advantage of her. I was outraged and said that she was all of our mothers and how could they (Becky and Paige) do that to her? Her response was “she likes the money; she doesn’t mind that it’s only 350.00”. This prompted a screaming fight between the two of us. I didn’t understand them taking advantage of her especially because the restaurant didn’t have a license and if they got caught it would be Sandy, not the shitty company, who got in trouble. At some point, Paige walked in from the kitchen and heard what was being said. She immediately took Becky’s side of the argument and told me to leave and that she didn’t want to see me again. I said “fine, Paige”, I didn’t have any fight left in me by that time and as I was leaving she hugged me and said that she missed me and needed me. I woke up literally sobbing and couldn’t stop for a good five minutes.
Pretty crazy, huh?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
